Argue Better

Bo has a good video on how arguing is a skill and should be viewed not in a defensive manner, but as a way you can really understand the reasoning of the other people, and the topic, better than with just your own understanding.

He goes on to describe 5 personas that bad-faith debaters employ:

1. Dodger - topic changer. Avoid taking the bait and stay the course.
2. Twister - misrepresents the point. The straw man argument. Not your argument. Correct the record.
3. Wrangler - nothing is good enough. The critic without an alternative. Pin them to a position.
4. Liar - overwhelms with several lies. Pick a lie and combat it: plug it and replace it with the truth.
5. Brawler - changes the debate into anything else.

Combat:

1. Stay the course and stick to your game.
2. Pause and reflect on whether they are actually debating.
3. If the first two don't work, defer the debate.

RISA framework - pick your battles. Before jumping into an argument, check that it's:

1. Real - an actual disagreement, not an imagined slight or a misunderstanding.
2. Important - matters enough to you to justify the argument.
3. Specific - narrow enough to make progress on.
4. Aligned - both sides want the same thing out of the conversation.

Start by naming the disagreement, so it doesn't spiral into every other difference between you.

Happy Hackin'

References

• Arguing is a constructive skill: The blueprint to build yours | Bo Seo: Full Interview
• Straw Man